It was just sheer horror. Let me stand corrected, it was so horrifying that I guess I am not going to take another bus in KL! Imagine, I have an early appointment at Mid Valley this morning. Since I can only afford one car (yes mind you trying be a good citizen I got myself a Proton Waja) the missus has to send the kids to the babysitter, I have no other alternative but to take the bus.

Before I go on, I remembered when I was younger there were a lot of bus operators such as Bas Mini, Seri Jaya and Metro Bus (which nothing to do with Metrojaya…LOL, lame joke). At one time these buses were the kings of the tarmacs! Imagine a long bus weaving in and out of the traffic. It was because they relied on the ticket sales. The bus which gets the most ticket sales gets the most commission. Gone are those era and replaced by one consolidated bus company which bought over all the other bus companies and became RapidKL.

They, as is RapidKL, now do not depend on ticket commissions but the drivers are paid a fixed monthly wage. So, they now are in control. They can just pass you waiting at the bus stop since 6 PM and now it’s freaking 8 PM just because the idiot wants have his dinner! I mean WTF? Why be a bus driver and not doing your job right? Some errand bus drivers will just switch off the interior lights and also the LED number display so you think that this bus was on its way to the depot but actually the bus just didn’t want to make the stop to pick up passengers as the bloody selfish driver has made plans to meet up with another driver for teh tarik! Call me a liar? Go to the first pick up point at Taman Seri Manja in Old Klang Road and one will see at one time 5 buses are in line with no drivers and passengers are confused which freaking bus is going to actually move.

Before I go on with my rantings and ramblings let just get back to the horrifying ordeal I went through this morning. I was at the first stop as that was on the way to the baby sitter’s place. After a short and brief goodbye with the family, I noticed there were two buses with the engine running but the drivers were having breakfast at Restaurant Le Hud just behind the bus stop.

Five minutes went by after I got there, nothing happened. Fifteen minutes, and they were having cigarettes now for the umpteenth time. Ok, after 20 minutes of waiting one of them got up and walked towards his bus. And being Malaysians, passengers are gathering in front of the door without queuing. Weren’t you idiots thought on how to cue during your school days? What were doing then? Oh come on stop all these shoving and can’t you all see I have a laptop bag? Freaking idiots!

Finally I got in after all the shoving and pushing. Paid my two bucks and found a seat. After a few stops, the bus getting packed. And just before entering Old Klang Road, a blind man got in. What the hell is wrong with Malaysians? Aren’t we all supposed to be full of politeness? Aren’t we known for it? Well probably it died along with the dinosaurs! (either that its gone or it never existed). And I realized my seat was just facing the row of seats for privileged passengers (disabled, pregnant women, nursing mothers, mothers with children, and old folks). The nerve of the bastards sitting on those seats! One suddenly is in deep slumber, one pretended to be SMSing someone and another just looked like he either had a joint earlier or his mum fed him space cakes for breakfast. Just were just ignorant piece of trash. As the bus moved, this blind old Chinese man almost toppled and no one tried to help. I got up to catch the man, poked the idiot who pretended to be asleep and told him off. I gave the blind man my seat.

This Indian man whom pretended to be asleep awhile ago is now giving me the eye and he thought with his five four inches stature scare the bejezez out of me? Please dude, I used to throw thrash like you out of clubs ok? After two stops, the Devdass wannabe got off. Imagine, he was only on the bus for four stops, and at the second stop he fell asleep? Duh!

After he got off, I realized now the bus is full of foreigners! That explains the extremely foul body odors! Don’t this people shower or heard of deodorants? And, why the f*** 70% of the bus are full of foreign construction workers? Am I in Malaysia? Or am I in Nepal? Am I in Myanmar? or I suppose I must be in Jakarta this morning, Damn, I deviating again.

At the stop where the Devdass wannabe got off, there were seven Nepalese wanting to get on. I am a six feet two inches and 115 kilo dude (yup you guessed it, Devdass realised that he just under my armpit then!) and that makes me a toweing giant in the bus. Behind me was this cute and petit girl already squashed in between me and several other passengers. I had two main concern, one was no to break my laptop’s LCD screen from all these squashing and number two was to make sure that this petite girl look like a pancake when she get off as she was actually and literally squashed at the moment.

The dirty seven decided to board this bus and two actually managed to get in. The remaining five was pushing and kept on pushing and telling us, “sikt lagi masuk dalam, sikit lagi, sikt lagi” or “please go in a little bit more, just a little bit more”.

The girl is already shrieking as my elbow is crushing her bosom and my laptop was crushing against the railing next to me. Finally I couldn’t take it. It was either let these blokes in and kill the girl behind me and break my laptop in the process or these blokes have to get off. Imagine, I couldn’t even move my arms now. I gave a short but mighty shove towards the people in front of me, and all five toppled back outside. They fell on the pavement and apparently pissed off. That was only when I heard voices from all around me telling them off.

Now the bus driver has no other option but to continue on with the journey. Finally, I arrived at my destination in one piece. I wonder, with Pak Lah wanting us Malaysians to utilize the public transport. That experience I just shared was just riding a bus. Don’t let me start on the behavior of our well renowned over charging blood sucking outrageously rude taxi drivers and “so-very-on-time and adequate in numbers” KTM commuter trains.

Instead of improving our public transport services, we send a man to ISS, buy submarines and fighter planes (as if Singapore is going to invade us next week!). I seriously hope the Malaysia tomorrow will be a better Malaysia or I might move to Iceland.

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